Just-me, Justine

It has come to an end. Sad to think actually, its been coming for so long it just never felt like it actually would.

At the age of 12 my mother told me to read a book called 'Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone' I put up a struggle, I was not going read a book because everyone else was reading it. No, no, no. I was going be different.
Mother's word out ruled my protests and I had to 'at least try it'. So I did, didn't get much farther than the first two chapters before putting down the book and letting it get lost among my things. Until a few months later, a friend said to read it. Now, he was a few years older and the kind of person that didn't do things because people hyped about them, but he said to read it. My reply being 'It's boring and slow. It just isn't catching me.' throwing in the last part to keep my 'I'm not doing it cause everyone else is' attitude going. He persisted that I read past the first few chapters, promising it would get good. So I did, and became just like everyone else, drawn up in the Harry Potter madness.
I have read the books over and over again, just like any Potter fan. The Harry Potter books not only, like many other kids in my generation, taught me to love to read because before I read them, interest wasn't there, reading for me was a task I dreaded instead of something I enjoyed.
When I was 14 my best friend Caityln and I were part of a lucky few to see the first Potter film in a early release preview thanks to a bit of a lucky family connection. Our friendship has grown around these books, one strong thing we have in common was the love for them.
These books also let me find my love for writing. Through a Harry Potter chat I met one of my closest friends, well a couple of them, and we started writing our Harry Potter fan fiction stories. I have since grown out of that writing, my friends carrying on my story line for me as they continue to write. I don't know where that part of my writing has disappeared too, maybe my heart getting broken for the first time at 16 took it. Part of growing up I suppose. I stopped living in the make believe world of it's kind and my writing turned toward more realistic fiction and poetry. As did my choice in books, I never was able to get into the Lord of the Rings and only finished the first Eargon book. They just didn't hold my interest the same as J. K Rowling's did.
I have been to the last two midnight release parties for the books. Having to experience it once with the sixth, and this last one because it was the final one and it just won't happen again with another book. Not to mention Harry Potter has just been a large part of my childhood.

Which brings me to this: As the excitement grew for the final book I remember scoffing at the news reports about parents needing to know how to help their child cope with the death of Harry Potter (if he should die that is). What silliness this seemed like. It was just a book! Though in the back of my mind I knew it was more to me, but the thought of needing to cope, just seemed so...over blown, so out there. I pictured kids just totally sobbing, and breaking down over the thought of Harry's death. I just couldn't wrap my mind around being so upset over a character in book series.
Now this made me feel like a bad potter fan, I should have been agreeing with sadness of the loss of everyone's favorite book hero. But I have come to realize it hits everyone differently. During the 'Deathly Hollows' book release party at my local Barns and Noble, (with my best friend and Harry Potter companion Caityln) I realized it wasn't about whether Harry dies or not, It was about the experience of Harry Potter. I have finished the series seeing that I'm not sad over who dies, but that it has come to an end. That there is no excitement or urge to get the next book. That a piece, a large piece of my childhood has come to an end. Oddly enough, 7 years of my life wrapped in this world, growing and changing with the books, the characters (and the actors, who looked like such babies back in the first movie, I have to remind myself that I once looked and was just as young.) I see just how much a part of who I am is in the books and the history they made, history that I am a part of and the friendships I have because of them. So my sadness comes from the end of the book series. It's a bittersweet sadness though. And yes I do know that there are the movies still left to be made and released, but here, with the seventh book is where that part of my childhood comes to an end because it is the books that started it all. So with that said, until I read them all again, goodbye Harry.

Okay guys... I'm watching the Live Earth concerts here and found out my favorite Justin.tv web caster Justine is at one of the concerts. So I pulled a split screen.... and later many more....

Purpose of all this: "Live Earth is a monumental music event that will bring together more than 2 billion people on 7/7/07 to raise awareness about global warming. With 24 hours of music across 7 continents, and performances by more than 150 of the world's top musicians, Live Earth will engage, connect, and inspire individuals, corporations and governments to take action to solve the climate crisis."

Okay well I know its been a while since I've done any blogging here, I gotta put up a new music one and a 'daily links' I just haven't had any motivation too lately. So its kinda hiatus-y for me, until I get something good up, for those who do read, I have new writing up at my Writers profile. So yeah, for now thats all. =) I hope to be back  writing here more, soon.

I feel like I am never able to forget anyone I've been with, friends or otherwise.
You can never replace anyone, what is lost is lost.
Each relationship, when it ends, really damages me and I tend to push away as I feel the end coming.
I need to be more careful with getting involved, even with friends because, people get lives and leave...and it hurts too much.
I will miss them and the most mundane things about them, the little things.
Maybe I'm crazy, but...
I see in them little details, little memories they will propably forget, that move me, and that I miss, and... will always miss.
But I know when they move on, when they get busy
that's when everything is lost, when long hours of conversation become a quick "hello, how are you?"
When your importance in their life has been replaced. My heart has broken more time this way than any other kind of love.
"I'm the girl that always puts people back together
To watch them walk off without me." -Pushing Away

 

I'll be back as soon as things calm down. :]

 

Yesterday,  I happened to catch the end of the Oprah episode as I flipped through the channels and she had on an artist names Susan Cagel that wrote a song called “Dear Oprah” I found the song a unique idea, seeing as how so many people write fan letters to celebrities she turned her’s into a song. What I found after the song that made me like her even more was her unique story to go with her sound, so I turned to my trusty music source to find more from her, Myspace. lol.

“For more than four years, singer-songwriter Susan Cagle has been making a name for herself throughout New York City’s subway system—surprising commuters with her impromptu performances. But, life wasn’t always so sweet for this soulful singer.

Growing up, Susan says she was raised in a very restrictive religious cult. “We had to do everything that they told us to do,” she says. “We were only allowed to read the Bible or other religious publications that were written by the organization.”

After years of feeling like a prisoner in her own life, Susan says she escaped that world and started on a path of her own. “It was like, ‘Oh my gosh, I’ve got these feelings inside me I’ve always felt, a hunger for knowledge, for the world,’ and I was told it was wrong,” she says. “Once I started reading, it was like, ‘Wow, I need to get out of this.’”

Susan moved to New York City, where she took her love of singing to the streets. “Basically, the subway allowed me to connect with people. In the subways I wasn’t alone,” she says. “I realized, looking around at all the people rushing by me, that everybody has their own story. … It made me realize that, wow, I don’t have to use my background as an excuse to not do anything with my life. “

For years, Susan performed for anyone who would listen…and then fate stepped in. Music producer Jay Levine caught her act and soon the pair started writing music together. “He’s been with me through every step of the way,” she says.

One of Susan’s signature songs is titled “Dear Oprah”—and when Oprah heard it for the first time, she knew she wanted to meet Susan in person! The song originated from a letter Susan wrote to Oprah when she was 17—but never sent! “Your story always inspired me, your background, how you were brought up. You’re a self-made person,” Susan tells Oprah. “It was really just me pouring out my heart in my diary to you.’ “ (Article found here)

I'm putting up two video's with this post of my favorites so take a look, she's really good, one of my favorites up there with Colbie Caillat.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Her Links: SusanCagle.com, Myspace

 

 

 

 

  "She said I think I'll go to Boston.
  I think I'll start a new life.
  I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name.
  I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather,
  I think I'll get a lover and fly 'em out to Spain.
  I think I'll go to Boston.
  I think that I'm just tired.
  I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind.
  I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of Sunset,
  I hear it's nice in the summer, some snow would be nice, oh yeah." - 'Boston' Augustana

 

I hear so many stories and so many song lyrics about wanting to come to California, I no longer see the greatness of it. California seems so self absorbed and over populated. Aside from a few friends and family members, California has lost all spark for me. California just isn't the California I knew. It was great when I was little, I can point out all the places that hold memories, parks, places I grew up, hung out, my first date. I know I grew up here some and it feels safe and familiar but Im ready for something new. My heart is screaming for a huge change. I'm tired of the west coast (except Seattle, cant ever get tired of there).

Just to pack all my stuff up and drive till a place suits me (if only I could actually drive). Just a fresh start, different weather, new faces. A place I can hope in again. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends and I know I barely get to see them now and leaving would take even that away but I'm on this cliff and I can either turn around and go back to what's safe and familiar or I can jump into something new, something I can hope for again. I want to jump.
This girl needs a change, a reason to hope again before my spark burns out.

 

or maybe this is all just a weird mood I'm in.